Forgiveness at Work: Stories of the Power, Possibilities and Practices of Forgiveness in the Workplace

by Deborah Welch, PhD

Book Review by Ann McGee-Cooper

How much of your life and mine has been wasted due to the drain of fear, unhealthy judgment and the emotional grid lock this causes? Teacher, executive coach, author and counselor, Deborah Welch unlocks this destructive puzzle in a powerful and inspiring new E-book, Forgiveness at Work: Stories of the Power, Possibilities and Practices of Forgiveness in the Workplace.

            The opening story comes from my early very painful loss of a children’s program into which I had poured seven years of my life to create with the help and genius of a multitude of amazing university students, professors, gifted public school master teachers, parents and others. In an astounding way, the loss became a blessed gain, or the problem became an opportunity. But first I had to find the moral courage to give up my own blaming and anger and fully forgive myself and those I blamed with toxic indelible anger.  I have been able to draw on this transforming series of events to help others dare to seek the opportunity within their most painful problems. Clearly, this loss was a profound teacher and turning point where forgiveness was the essential key that unlocked four decades plus of unfolding blessings.

But what in this extraordinary book opened my mind, heart, and will in profound ways were the series of stories that followed, each from a different very real life challenge.  For example:

• A young architect caught in a grueling job search
• The tragic death of a beloved fiancé following an argument
• How breaking the chain of hate and resentment in a workplace demonstrated 60% to 400% improvement in productivity (American Express)
• Deborah’s own challenge of fear and crippling self doubt and how she is learning to overcome it through forgiveness
• How a random tragedy at Starbucks was transformed through immediate and intuitive reaching out in the wee hours of the night to families hurting from horrendous loss.

And then the cap stone as Deborah shares a powerful forgiveness ritual she learned from her long time mentor, Dr Edith Stauffer. These simple, insights and transforming steps free one’s spirit and soul to identify and release inner shame and blame on the path to creative breakthroughs and finally inner peace.

This is a powerful and practical narrative reflecting the sacred journey of an evolving selfhood. I could see myself in each story of loss, tragedy, forgiveness and redemption. I found myself not wanting to interrupt the flow of self discovery until I had finished the book. And I flagged the section on forgiveness rituals, choosing to practice them frequently in my moments of harsh judgment of self and others. The most profound take away for me was the realization that I can’t authentically forgive others until I first forgive myself.

An equally profound gift woven through this book was the carefully chosen quotes, such as:

Our unwillingness to forgive keeps us imprisoned and unable to either offer our gifts or receive the gifts of those around us.

-Peter Block

To forgive is not just to be altruistic; it is the best form of self-interest….. You should never hate yourself for feeling angry. However, when I talk of forgiveness I mean the belief that you can come out the other side a better person.

–Desmond Tutu, Page 129

What I see over and over is that true forgiveness never enables abuse, it only promotes growth.

–Deborah Welch

How long would you like to continue to carry this burden?

–Edith Stauffer

There is a place in you where nothing disturbs your peace. With forgiveness you rest in that place.

–Edith Stauffer

Between Stimulus and response there is a space.  In that space is the power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

–Viktor Frankl

In the condition of self-criticism the full truth doesn’t reveal itself.

–Geneen Roth

 There is a vitality, an energy, that is translated through you into action.  And because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique.  And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost.  The world will not have it.  It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions.  It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.

-Martha Graham

No matter how badly you may be shaken, no matter how serious the failure or how ignominious the fall from grace, by accepting and learning you can be restored with greater strength. Don’t lose this basic view of who you are.

– Robert K. Greenleaf.

Forgiveness removes fear and that is why it is so powerful.

– Nelson Mandela

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

–Mohandas Gandhi

One final insight that I found stunning and transforming was this…The word forgiveness literally means cancel in the Aramaic language.  How powerful and redemptive to have a painful and perhaps thoughtless word or deed literally cancelled from memory or history.  Gone, cancelled, forgiven as though it never happened!

All of life is a living, organic, network of connections….a system in which we are a player. Dr. Welch holds up a mirror and gently helps us discover how we each imprison ourselves through judgment, fear and blame. And then she provides the insights, skills and tools to forgive ourselves and others…and become creative, healthy people who choose to co-create a positive, abundant future filled with hope and possibility.