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by Homa L. Lewis

Easily one of the most applicable strategies we teach is Third Right Answers.  In handling conflict or “challenges that are opportunities”, this technique works on and off the job.  I especially like to use this when dealing with teenagers.  Third Right Answers are more than a mere compromise – they go beyond splitting the difference.  In a true Third Right Answer, all parties’ goals are fulfilled with a solution significantly better than an either/or answer.  Learning to generate Third Right Answers is the fine art of growing from either/or thinking to both/and possibilities.

Recently a group of top executives involved in a very complex construction project worked on Third Right Answers.  They developed a list of actions that would help generate a Third Right Answer as well as a list of corresponding list of actions that would block the process. It is provided here.  As you review their lists, consider which ones would help you move to the both/and world where everyone wins.

What contributes to the most creative and successful 3rd Right Answers?

  • Welcoming a contrarian point of view
  • Exploring blocking assumptions
  • Welcoming feedback
  • Asking questions to go deeper
  • Reframing your question
  • Asking 5 “whys” to get to root cause
  • Invite in a 3rd party with fresh perspective
  • Keep optimistic viewpoint
  • Changing your environment
  • Allowing time to ponder
  • Loosen up your thinking with a glass of wine
  • Gather facts into a database and look for patterns
  • Facilitator to keep flow
  • Get completely away from the problem and clear your mind by doing something fun
  • Dare to be outrageous – often our intuition pops out in an idea that at first seems impossible

In your experience, what blocks and lowers the team’s success rate in generating 3rd Right Answers?

  • Afraid to use experiences
  • Not the right people at the table
  • Self-reliance/excluding others
  • Strong opinions
  • Not a safe environment
  • Pressure-urgency
  • Stick to past practices/paradigms
  • Quit communicating
  • Firing off emails (3 emails rule)
  • Not asking open-ended questions
  • No facilitated structure
  • Lack of follow-through
  • Negative attitudes and body language
  • Using negative humor
  • Ridiculing out-of- the-box ideas
  • Grumpy, controlling, intense
  • Lack of commitment or disengaged
  • Staying focused on “why it won’t work”

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