by Ann McGee-Cooper

I love to garden and spent the weekend working around the lower water garden replacing old pots with new glazed pots. As I worked on this project I was astounded to discover that all nine pots were held tightly in place by roots coming up from the fig tree that spreads her branches lovingly over the pond. Each of the nine pots was crowded with tree roots and, in search of water and nutrients over the years, held in place by roots the size of my thumb. I had to do major surgery just to get the pots loose from these strong and persistent nomads.

And then, as I tilted the pots on their side and hit the bottom and sides with my palm, nothing budged. I had to really work to jar the soil and strong roots loose so the whole content would slide away from the pot.

These roots became a sort of metaphorical teacher during a conference call with our twelve Virtual Servant Leadership Learning Community members on the topic of uncovering our sleeping genius. After a rich and stimulating 90 minutes, I realized that each of us have our lives invaded by the strong, complex and persistent roots of our culture, telling us who we should be, how we should be, who we should and shouldn’t marry, how to live our lives, what defines success, etc.

I noticed that the new plants I put into the old pots didn’t grow and many withered. Why could this be? I was providing the right amount of water and plant food. Once I tapped out the contents of the pots and began pulling the gnarl of tree roots out of the soil, the mystery was solved. There was no room for new plants to put down their roots because all the space was taken by this hungry, thirsty invader. And so perhaps it is in our lives. We become so indoctrinated by our families of origin, our culture and all those we admire that we can become extrinsically motivated and lose our soul by trying to please others and become the person they will admire. In the process our unique genius withers and becomes crowded out of our hearts and lives. And when our genius withers, so does our spirit!

I heard ten brilliant, beautiful spirits tell stories of fearing to let go and surrender into their genius. Would they be seen as too boastful? What would others think? Would it be fair to their families to fully live into their genius? Would that be selfish? How would that impact their earning potential? Could they make it by being truly authentic? Perhaps these inner doubts sound all too familiar. They do to me.

But then I realize how I can feel depression overcome me when I bow to false gods. One of my colleagues quoted a wise person saying depression can be a stop sign for the soul. Stop! You’re headed in the wrong direction! Take some time to rethink your priorities. Are you selling your soul to please others only to lose the most precious gift anyone can be given….your unique genius capacity?

I suppose this is one of the many reasons I am passionate about gardening. It not only nurtures my spirit with beauty and the souls of all the plants, worms, birds, lizards, bright red dragon flies, and creatures. But the soil and waterfalls and wind and sun speak to me, they listen to my sorrows and endless questions. They teach me if I but listen. So now I am pondering, how do I prevent a new invasion of tree roots into the new pots, alive with lovely caladiums, begonias and ferns? And equally important, how do I make sure the demands of my culture do not crowd out my unique gifts and genius….my purpose and Calling in this lifetime? It is mine to tend this garden of my soul and my most sacred responsibility to allow my gifts fertile soil to put down deep roots. So may it be for all of us.