by Duane Trammell
Many of our Clients and friends are baby boomers who are caring for aging and ailing parents now. When this happened to me, I remarked…”they should have had a college course in this. I could have used it much more than Algebra.” But somehow, the right people come into our lives when we need them. Larry Kinard has been one of those special people.
Larry was a former manager who worked for TXU (now Luminant) and was in one of our servant leadership development classes for several years. We always liked Larry—he was bright, positive, insightful, witty, and always added dimension to the business challenges we tackled with his colleagues.
Fast forward to 2005. Larry’s life changed. His wife Marty, an educational psychologist had two debilitating strokes. Larry’s fulltime job became caring for Marty which included helping Marty through illnesses, navigating through doctor’s appointments, studying symptoms, treatments, care plans and how to do all the caretaking stuff. Anyone who has done full-time caregiving knows that it demands everything you have mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually…and then some more…and even more. Larry, in his compassion, simply calls it his “Doctor of Marty degree.”
Thanks to facebook, we reconnected with Larry and I came across his blog, “What I Learn from Marty.” In an incredibly humble, sincere, thought-provoking, tearful, humorous, educating, and spiritual (although he wouldn’t take credit for that) way, Larry chronicles the daily adventures of caring for a loved one who can’t care completely for herself.
Things sometimes come to us at exactly the right moment. For 15 years, I cared for my Mom in and out of illnesses. For 12 years, she lived with my Partner and me. In the last three years of her life it became more complex, challenging, and demanding. When I would be exhausted from an E.R. trip or frustrated or simply feeling sorry for myself, I would read one of Larry’s blogs. And it would help. Sometimes he would respond to a facebook post with words of support and encouragement. My caregiving ended over eighteen months ago, but his continues each day.
What I admire so much in Larry is that he not only cares for Marty, his beloved, but he also shares the most vulnerable part of himself with all of his readers—the little things he finds joy and meaning in AND the doubts, fears, anxieties, and frustrations that come with the territory. I look forward to Larry’s blog posts, although sometimes they are emotionally challenging to read. They evoke feelings, memories, and make me look at myself in ways that I wouldn’t otherwise. And when I want to bolster up my own servant leadership skills, I learn from Larry and his daily journey. Thanks, Larry.
Larry Kinard’s Blog “What I Learn from Marty” can be found at: http://martytalks.blogspot.com/
“We have used a number of coaches, facilitators, and consultants through many years at Bridgeway. Sadly, too many have been considered ‘the flavor of the month,’ a fad without staying power. Ann McGee-Cooper and Associates partners with us, focusing creatively and intentionally on a small number of clients to ensure servant leadership really ‘takes.’ I've never before experienced the breadth of team leaders saying ‘this is the best thing we've done.’ From helping create a powerful tool chest of communication tools to individual executive and team member coaching to specific problem-solving, AMCA has already added significant target in the first year.”